Tuesday, September 27, 2011

How Much Does She Weigh Now?

I can just imagine watching some Sunday morning weekly wrapup television show -- opening with the sun coming over the horizon and birds chirping in the background -- and a Walter Cronkite voice informing us of the important news of the past week:

"Ricki Lake celebrated her top-scoring 23 points and 12 inches of weight loss; Rob Kardashian celebrated being a better dancer than his sister Kim; and Chaz Bono celebrated just getting through his routine on "Dancing With the Stars."

There is no reason to imagine.

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Monday, September 26, 2011

Yahoo! headline:

Cain says he nearly quit campaign before Florida straw poll

To avoid the inevitable he should have quit before the Florida straw poll.

Further, now I understand why there are as many "undecideds" just days before presidential elections. There are people now thinking (thinking?) Cain is a winnable candidate. Just as bad, way too many think Michele Bachmann is legit.

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Thursday, September 22, 2011

Seinfeld will have no problem having weird kids

Lead paragraph, Yahoo!:

Jessica and Jerry Seinfeld say they don't want their three kids to be too straight-laced. Being weird is not bad.

Do I get in trouble here by saying what we all know to be true, that Jews control the TV and film industry? I guess the PC crowd would say I should not say such a thing because it might foment anger and bad feelings, true or not.

Well, I'm saying it. They do. Look at TV commercials. Look at TV shows, films. Okay, I said that all ready.

So, who cares what Jerry Seinfeld has to say about his kids? His wife even less.

Jerry Seinfeld is a Jew and his kids are Jews and they can be weird or straight and the other Jews running things will open what doors are necessary to set them up however they like.

The kids will have no problem being like how Jerry Seinfeld wants them. In becoming weird, they have the perfect template to follow: a flaming liberal.

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Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Climer Needs Pasturing
By Bryce Martin

Tennessean click-on article:

David Climer: Titans' turnaround confounding

Here it is only the second week into the NFL season and Tennessean columnist Climer is calling a Titans win "confounding" simply because they were not picked by most so-called experts to win a game they won.

It might even be a stretch to call it a mild upset, being this early in the season.

The fact is it happens every week in the NFL, and more than once each week. It has happened so many times to the Titans that the Titans would have to be totally wretched in upsetting a three-touchdown favorite. Now that would be confounding.

It is just more proof that writing a regular sports column is too much for Climer. I figure Climer did not write the headline, but in this case the headline fits his piece.

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Monday, September 19, 2011

He's Ugly, Too

Eagles clipboard holder Vince Young says an impersonator is trying to ruin his name.

Pause.

I'm amazed that Young would flatter himself so. The impersonator would seem to have much competition with Young on that one.

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Saturday, September 17, 2011

How About 'Mushbrain World Dunce'?

Has this Ron Artest fellow the slightest clue?

Metta World Peace. He changes his name and that's it?

Real catchy. I see all kinds of possible angles. Sure.

World Peace is the last name. Artest said he wanted to inspire youth with the name Metta because it is a Buddhist word that means kindness.

Sure, like most of our black youth (that's who he really means when he says youth) are Buddists. And "Metta," now that is a real easy word for the youth he has in mind to grasp.

Please, get this man some oxygen.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Galena: A Once Was Time

There was a time in Galena Quiet main street was paved with red bricks. Skies were a wonderful blue Even as the air smelled of lead From our smelter smokestack. A cowboy double feature at The Maywood Theatre With a cartoon in the middle All for a quarter. Saturday days sidewalks were busy at The Golden Rule The big door open at the fire station. A tall standpipe towering in the distance Boys on bicycles with chunks of found lead and marbles in their pockets. Older boys going home after a day of cutting cattails Their girlfriends ironing clothes for the night's drive-in movie. Families with last names going way back to boom lead mining times Settling in for an evening at home Watching TV and snacking on homemade divinity with pecans. The evening cool and talk happy and polite Great sleeping weather.

There was a time... in Galena

--By Bryce Martin

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Too Typical

Headline: Filmmaker Michael Moore coming to Vanderbilt

Of course he is.

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Make Up Your Mind, Catholics

A Catholic high school football team made the news recently when it chanted to the other team, "We've got Jesus."

That was deemed inappropriate.

Myself, I am confused. I thought they had Mary.

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Sunday, September 11, 2011

Where Politicians Are Concerned, Apathy Is A Good First Step
By Bryce Martin

It would be humorous if not so tragic.

The fact that we can close post offices, parks, train stations, libraries, and numerous other facilities and programs that we actually have a use for and, in some, find joy, all in the name of not having the money to support them.

Yet, all that money it would take for us to keep those items and others operating is being spent a thousand times fold in billions and billions of dollars sent to countries where the money goes directly into the elite and the dictators' pockets and not to the people and the projects they were meant to aid. Billions more on totally useless, political boondoggles and on and on.

Kicking the bums out will do no good. More bums will just take their place, as always. Let's just not show up and vote. None of us. Sure, offices will be filled, by default if no other way. But that would serve as the warning.

The first warning.

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Saturday, September 10, 2011

Vandy Coach Meets Insanity Definition

You've heard the definition of insanity. Making the same mistake over and over, expecting a different result.

By that definition, Vanderbilt head football coach James Franklin is certifiably insane.

His senior quarterback, Larry Smith, has not completed even 50 percent of his passes in the past two seasons. He has thrown more interceptions than he has touchdowns. When Vandy beat a weak Elon eleven in its season opener, Smith was his usual self.

After the game, Franklin did say he would like to have seen Smith have a better completion rate, as if that was something a little more practice could remedy.

That is insanity.

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Friday, September 09, 2011

NFL 2011 Week One Prediction

Titans 27, Jaguars 17
Chris Johnson, just over 200 rushing yards
(However, in his next 2 games his rushing totals will border on pathetic. The competition? No, the odds.)
...

Monday, September 05, 2011

Same Old Vandy, Same Old Larry Smith
By Bryce Martin

Sure, Vanderbilt romped over Elon. But it means nothing. They should have, even as Vandy they should have.

The most telling thing about the game for Vandy's prospects this season was not the lopsided win, but the "play" of quarterback Larry Smith. Even against a plushpillow like Elon, Smith was his usual inept self.

In 2009 and in 2010, his completion percentage was under 50 percent. It was not uncommon for him to have games where he passed for less than 100 yards. Against Elon, he was his usual self, completing less than half his passes and racking up a piddly 120 yards in the air.

Remember, this was Elon.

I was pretty much on board with new coach James Franklin until I saw he was starting the season with Smith. I can now see I was wrong to expect much, not with a head coach who is no better judge of talent than he has shown in picking Smith to run his offense.

Same old Vandy? Sure, as long as you have the same old Larry Smith as your quarterback.
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Poor Vanderbilt.
A bunch of future lawyers and doctors trying to play football. No wonder they lose all the time. Right?
Wrong, at Vanderbilt, 35 of 59 football scholarship players surveyed major in one subject: human and organizational development.

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Saturday, September 03, 2011

Forget Jerry Lewis, Awready
By Bryce Martin

Jerry Lewis was, and is, an ass, and I imagine at this stage late in his life will remain thus.

The namby-pambies in Hollywood -- those crying over his being dumped as the longtime charity telethon host -- want us to overlook that and have us believe that all his good charity work trumps his nasty behavior over the years to those who have had to work with him.

The fact is, if he had anything going for him resembling a career after the 1960s, he would not have been doing the "charity" work, for which he was paid handsomely.

I'll never forget this from a Los Angeles radio man back in the 60s commenting after reading the news about how much money that very first telethon brought in: "If everyone who doesn't like Jerry Lewis would have sent in a quarter, they would have raised twice as much money."

France hasn't even came to his rescue (Drum roll, please).

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