YEAH, BUT IT'S A DRY HEAT

I've lived a couple hills away from Death Valley. I've lived in Bakersfield, Calif. Two notoriously hot locales. In fact, Death Valley is the hottest place in the world.

Every time I try to brag about how I lived in such places, and no matter how graphic I describe just how hot these places are, I always forget what I am setting up and what I will hear next.

"Yeah, but it's a dry heat."

I've been setting myself up as the foil for this remark many, many times over the last 40 years. Each time I slap my forehead and tell myself I will never learn.

Yes, it is a dry heat. It's not really a blast furnace from Hell. That 121 degrees of blistering blaze is a dry heat. It's really about 67 degrees, a nice cool breeze is blowing and I won't die in about 40 seconds if I don't consume a gallon of water.

Excuse me for educating you on how hot it is. Right, it is a dry heat. What was I thinking?

 

IF THAT MANY LIKE IT, IT CAN'T BE THAT GOOD

Junk sells. Books, music, movies, gear it to the lowest common denominator and get ready to rake in the dough, the moolah, the green, the money.

Examples: Kenny Rogers, Adam Sandler, the list is long. Pick the most popular and you will nail the majority.

When I tell people this, they think I am odd. Heck, it's not even original with me. Most people have no discerning ability, they're sheep. Not only do they not know what is junk, they also do not know there are people, such as myself, who look at such things from a larger perspective, not from personal opinion, which is often a mighty limited scope.

The trap I fall into is when I broach this exact subject matter with an individual. I set myself up and fall for it every time.

After I recite an intelligent reason for something or someone being junk, it is always the same response:

"I'd like to have all the money (it, she, he) made on it."

Right. Not only do they still do not get it, they have defended their posture with an equal vulgarity.