How Much Does She Weigh Now?

I can just imagine watching some Sunday morning weekly wrapup television show -- opening with the sun coming over the horizon and birds chirping in the background -- and a Walter Cronkite voice informing us of the important news of the past week:

"Ricki Lake celebrated her top-scoring 23 points and 12 inches of weight loss; Rob Kardashian celebrated being a better dancer than his sister Kim; and Chaz Bono celebrated just getting through his routine on "Dancing With the Stars."

There is no reason to imagine.

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