Nashville is Panic City
by Bryce Martin
Sex and Gasoline. That's what makes the world go around. Here in Music City, that is how singer/songwriter Rodney Crowell sums up man's effort to keep the show going on the big globe.
With the slightest hint or mention of a possible snowflake from Channel 4's Snowbird, citizens of Nashville are legendary in their scramble as they routinely crowd grocery stores for America's lifestream of bread, milk and toilet paper.
If you become snowbound, you are stranded.
If you have no gasoline, you are stranded.
Channel 4 needs to introduce a Gasbird.
In the wake of Hurricane Ike, most of the rest of the country got back to normal gaswise in about a week, save for Nashville where people doubled up gas purchases in a delayed panic mode and created a shortage.
News stories about Nashville's mad grab for gas did, at least, bring to the fore some interesting facts:
... a fuel tanker holds 9,000 gallons
... Nashville gets it gas from a spur of the Colonial Pipeline.
... gasoline travels the pipeline at an average speed of 3 to 5 miles per hour.
... Memphis gets it gasoline from the Capline Pipeline, starting in St. James, La., and, unlike Nashville, Memphis refines much of its own gasoline.
... The Colonial Pipeline trumps tanker trunks and barges for delivery since it has the capacity to deliver more than 100 million gallons of refined gasoline a day.
... About 120 taxis roam Nashville on weekend nights (needing mucho petro).
... Sex is so popular because it's centrally located (I close with a joke if possible).
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Tell them how the weather was... -- Ernest Hemingway bryce_martin_1@Lycos.com
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Sunday, September 14, 2008
It's OK to drive drunk in Tennessee, depending on who you are
by Bryce Martin
It's been a spell since Titans defensive end Jevon Kearse was arrested and charged with DUI. He's fighting it of course. Not so much I suspect because he has that right but that he knows he can buy his way out of it. Past history regarding other Titans has shown that.
Soon we should be getting the verdict that the charge has been tossed out, or reduced to illegally disposing of a gum wrapper.
"Booze it and lose it."
What a laugh that is, Tennessee's new trooper motto to crack down on drunk driving. Crack down on you and me, that is, and not on those with the big bucks to give a lawyer to work out a sweetheart deal in one of those court side rooms where the robes are off.
Back in the latter part of June, Kearse was arrested and charged with driving under the influence following a traffic stop near the Vanderbilt University campus.
He was stopped on an early Sunday morning after campus police reported seeing the SUV that Kearse was driving weaving across the road.
Kearse submitted to a field sobriety test, but refused a breathalyzer. He was arrested and charged with DUI and violation of Tennessee's implied consent law for failing to take the breathalyzer test.
Kearse has since said he was "set up." He never said that he was actually sober, mind you, but that the police had laid in wait for him.
Heaven forbid that in the year 2008 someone would actually take responsibility for their actions.
Why would anyone want this guy's autograph?
Better still, how can anyone in Tennessee not laugh at the "Booze it and lose it" joke?
Right, I "lose" my license, but those such as Kearse "lose" a few thou, just pocket change to them.
It was even funnier when Titans coach Jeff Fisher was the designated DUI motto-bearer.
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by Bryce Martin
It's been a spell since Titans defensive end Jevon Kearse was arrested and charged with DUI. He's fighting it of course. Not so much I suspect because he has that right but that he knows he can buy his way out of it. Past history regarding other Titans has shown that.
Soon we should be getting the verdict that the charge has been tossed out, or reduced to illegally disposing of a gum wrapper.
"Booze it and lose it."
What a laugh that is, Tennessee's new trooper motto to crack down on drunk driving. Crack down on you and me, that is, and not on those with the big bucks to give a lawyer to work out a sweetheart deal in one of those court side rooms where the robes are off.
Back in the latter part of June, Kearse was arrested and charged with driving under the influence following a traffic stop near the Vanderbilt University campus.
He was stopped on an early Sunday morning after campus police reported seeing the SUV that Kearse was driving weaving across the road.
Kearse submitted to a field sobriety test, but refused a breathalyzer. He was arrested and charged with DUI and violation of Tennessee's implied consent law for failing to take the breathalyzer test.
Kearse has since said he was "set up." He never said that he was actually sober, mind you, but that the police had laid in wait for him.
Heaven forbid that in the year 2008 someone would actually take responsibility for their actions.
Why would anyone want this guy's autograph?
Better still, how can anyone in Tennessee not laugh at the "Booze it and lose it" joke?
Right, I "lose" my license, but those such as Kearse "lose" a few thou, just pocket change to them.
It was even funnier when Titans coach Jeff Fisher was the designated DUI motto-bearer.
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Friday, September 12, 2008
Time for Vince Young to play the victim
by Bryce Martin
Vince Young has had two obvious and popular choices waiting for him for quite some time.
Depression. Bipolar.
Heaven forbid that anyone in the year 2008 would accept personal responsibility when playing the victim is the new, clear way to go.
Bipolar has become extremely popular, but depression is coming on strong of late. Hollywood and its spoiled sunglasses crowd has set the tone for most of it. California really does seem to set all the trends.
No longer is a stigma attached to matters involving the inner workings of the head. In fact, it's quite trendy to be bipolar these days.
Of course, when such things as depression and bipolarism were real and complicated clinical disorders for some people, the whole concept has lost much of its true meaning when it has evolved into a convenient scapegoat for those merely irresponsible and too dumb or too absorbed to admit it.
Get the diagnosis, get some pills to make you feel good, let everyone know how much all this therapy is helping you, and you're off the hook. Just another victim, on the mend.
Still, you won't be able to throw a football any better. Or read defenses. But, when you feel this great, who cares.
Chow Must Feel Vindicated
Titans offensive coordinator Norm Chow got fired from his post when he made a major mistake. Telling the truth outside the locker room regarding Young. Chow and Young were already at odds since the quarterback did not respond well to a full season under Chow. But, when Chow told a sideline reporter on a nationally televised game at the end of last season that Young was "immature," and that reporter did Chow no favor by repeating the remark on national TV, that was the final straw. No way could it work after that. The Titans brass looked beyond Chow after that, found a replacement and sent him packing.
To see Young not even make it past his first game with a new boss had to give Chow a pick me up. Not only did Young pout big time -- a leader not even wanting to go back into battle -- right before his injury he had to be sweet-talked into even taking the field. Can you hear an I-told-you-so from way out west?
As for Young, we've already seen the script.
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by Bryce Martin
Vince Young has had two obvious and popular choices waiting for him for quite some time.
Depression. Bipolar.
Heaven forbid that anyone in the year 2008 would accept personal responsibility when playing the victim is the new, clear way to go.
Bipolar has become extremely popular, but depression is coming on strong of late. Hollywood and its spoiled sunglasses crowd has set the tone for most of it. California really does seem to set all the trends.
No longer is a stigma attached to matters involving the inner workings of the head. In fact, it's quite trendy to be bipolar these days.
Of course, when such things as depression and bipolarism were real and complicated clinical disorders for some people, the whole concept has lost much of its true meaning when it has evolved into a convenient scapegoat for those merely irresponsible and too dumb or too absorbed to admit it.
Get the diagnosis, get some pills to make you feel good, let everyone know how much all this therapy is helping you, and you're off the hook. Just another victim, on the mend.
Still, you won't be able to throw a football any better. Or read defenses. But, when you feel this great, who cares.
Chow Must Feel Vindicated
Titans offensive coordinator Norm Chow got fired from his post when he made a major mistake. Telling the truth outside the locker room regarding Young. Chow and Young were already at odds since the quarterback did not respond well to a full season under Chow. But, when Chow told a sideline reporter on a nationally televised game at the end of last season that Young was "immature," and that reporter did Chow no favor by repeating the remark on national TV, that was the final straw. No way could it work after that. The Titans brass looked beyond Chow after that, found a replacement and sent him packing.
To see Young not even make it past his first game with a new boss had to give Chow a pick me up. Not only did Young pout big time -- a leader not even wanting to go back into battle -- right before his injury he had to be sweet-talked into even taking the field. Can you hear an I-told-you-so from way out west?
As for Young, we've already seen the script.
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Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Vince Young malady spreads to Obamanation
by Bryce Martin
Barack Obama buried his face in his hands and was heard to say, "Those mean Republicans. I can't take it anymore. I'm going away, out of the public eye to find some space."
With that the once apparent heir to the kingdom, leader of the Obamanation, pulled a Vince Young. When the kitchen got hot, he went out to get hot chicken wings.
"I may not come back at all, in any capacity," a close friend of Obama's was said to hear him say. "The great people of Illinois may not have my 'present' vote to back them anymore."
Obama has often reminded citizens that Republicans do not play fair and are misguided and how he is as right as red on lipstick. Many of his supporters are hoping he gets his mind right and continues in his past present form.
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by Bryce Martin
Barack Obama buried his face in his hands and was heard to say, "Those mean Republicans. I can't take it anymore. I'm going away, out of the public eye to find some space."
With that the once apparent heir to the kingdom, leader of the Obamanation, pulled a Vince Young. When the kitchen got hot, he went out to get hot chicken wings.
"I may not come back at all, in any capacity," a close friend of Obama's was said to hear him say. "The great people of Illinois may not have my 'present' vote to back them anymore."
Obama has often reminded citizens that Republicans do not play fair and are misguided and how he is as right as red on lipstick. Many of his supporters are hoping he gets his mind right and continues in his past present form.
-30-
If Vince Young needs to find answers, here are the questions
by Bryce Martin
Vince young?
Oh, yeah. Baby young.
Vince's real problem?
Simple.
He's a crummy QB.
He gets booed because he's crummy.
If he "mans up," if he suddenly matures beyond the emotions of a young schoolgirl, he will still be a crummy quarterback. At that point, however, he can mess up all he wants and be happy with it because he has matured.
When people say he has physical skills, what they really mean is he can display a burst of speed combined with a touch of elusiveness. That does not constitute all it takes to be a good NFL quarterback.
He doesn't like to look bad because his college frat party may not invite him to the next beer bust.
He needs to live at home and let momma cook and take care of him. It's a rough world out there for overpaid millionaires.
Guys in Iraq are getting ambushed, rocks tossed at them, and are missing limbs, yet many of them volunteer to go back when they recover as well as they can. And we're supposed to care about this overpaid whiner? That will be a cold day.
-30-
by Bryce Martin
Vince young?
Oh, yeah. Baby young.
Vince's real problem?
Simple.
He's a crummy QB.
He gets booed because he's crummy.
If he "mans up," if he suddenly matures beyond the emotions of a young schoolgirl, he will still be a crummy quarterback. At that point, however, he can mess up all he wants and be happy with it because he has matured.
When people say he has physical skills, what they really mean is he can display a burst of speed combined with a touch of elusiveness. That does not constitute all it takes to be a good NFL quarterback.
He doesn't like to look bad because his college frat party may not invite him to the next beer bust.
He needs to live at home and let momma cook and take care of him. It's a rough world out there for overpaid millionaires.
Guys in Iraq are getting ambushed, rocks tossed at them, and are missing limbs, yet many of them volunteer to go back when they recover as well as they can. And we're supposed to care about this overpaid whiner? That will be a cold day.
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Saturday, September 06, 2008
My Titans: Quick thoughts, readings and observations
by Bryce Martin
Vince Young is fat. Michael Vick is in prison and probably in better shape.
Jevon Kearse has always been a soft tackler. Kearse looks old and tired.
I'm glad Roydell Williams is gone. He might catch an easy pass and he might not.
LenDale White is slower than molasses in January. His cornrows add nothing. He, like Vince Young, is young but already has a double chin.
Oh, and we'll do well to go 10-6 again. Even with Jeff Fisher adding so much talent to aid the offense.
That last one was a joke. If you were not laughing on your own and had to see my reminder here to understand, go tend to your pom-poms.
-30-
by Bryce Martin
Vince Young is fat. Michael Vick is in prison and probably in better shape.
Jevon Kearse has always been a soft tackler. Kearse looks old and tired.
I'm glad Roydell Williams is gone. He might catch an easy pass and he might not.
LenDale White is slower than molasses in January. His cornrows add nothing. He, like Vince Young, is young but already has a double chin.
Oh, and we'll do well to go 10-6 again. Even with Jeff Fisher adding so much talent to aid the offense.
That last one was a joke. If you were not laughing on your own and had to see my reminder here to understand, go tend to your pom-poms.
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